Lonely at Christmas: How to feel less lonely this festive season

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. Images of family gatherings, lavish gift exchanges, bright lights, magical moments, and shared meals fill our screens and social feeds.

The truth is, many of us often feel quite lonely at Christmas. 

Christmas (and the long lead-up to it) can be a time when we’re reminded of those who have passed away, family who live far away, or friends who are no longer in our lives.

Loneliness has recently been described as one of the greatest public health challenges of our time. The pressure to be connected and create happy memories at Christmas can intensify feelings of loneliness. 

Whether loneliness is a new experience or a familiar one for you, there are lots of ways to manage the feeling. Loneliness is a normal human emotion, one that we're all likely to experience at some point. It's also subjective, which means it looks different to each of us.

We hope that some of the tips we share might be useful this festive season. If you have any others to add to the list and share with our community, please let us know by commenting below. 

Acknowledge it and be kind to yourself

Loneliness is a very normal human emotion. As human beings, we are biologically wired for social contact. Loneliness is a bit like feeling hungry or thirsty. Much the same as when our bodies are telling us that we need to eat or drink something, loneliness is a sign that we need to pay attention to the amount of social contact we’re having. Instead of running away from the feeling and pretending it's not happening, try to embrace it, and be compassionate to yourself.

Remind yourself that it's okay to feel lonely. It’s a normal feeling, it’s part of being human and you're not alone in feeling this way. 

Try to be open

You might know plenty of people, but what’s wrong is that you don’t feel close to them, or understood by them. Could you talk to a family member, friend or someone in your community about how you feel? You might feel more comfortable speaking with a professional, such as a therapist or your GP. Remember, there is absolutely no shame in feeling lonely. 

Try not to compare

We all do this from time to time. Social media can make it seem like we’re the only ones feeling lonely, but it’s important to remember that people often share a ‘highlights reel’ which doesn’t tell the whole story. You don’t know how other people feel when their social media feeds are turned off. Social media is still a great way to connect with others but notice how it makes you feel when you use it.

Do you feel happier and more connected, or the opposite? Instead of scrolling through other people’s timelines, use social media to join new groups or like-minded communities so you feel part of something.

Take care of yourself

When loneliness creeps in, it can be easy to neglect self-care, but looking after your well-being is crucial. Prioritise activities that bring you comfort and joy, whether it’s reading a favourite book, snuggling up and watching a festive film you love, or going for a walk in nature. Treat yourself with the same care you would offer a close friend.

Physical well-being is also key—make sure you're eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, and getting enough rest. Simple routines like a warm bath or practising mindfulness can have a powerful effect on your mental health and help create moments of peace during the festive season. Remember, being kind to yourself is an important step in managing loneliness.

Spread some festive cheer

One of the most powerful ways to manage loneliness is by shifting your focus outward and helping others. Volunteering can provide a sense of purpose, connect you with new people, and give you the satisfaction of knowing you’ve made a positive difference. Why not look into local organisations and community groups that might need some extra help? We recently found a quote which we love by Vivek Murthy: “The best way to feel less lonely, is to help others feel less lonely”. 

Helping others, whether through formal volunteering or small acts of kindness like writing cards, offering to help a neighbour, sending a thoughtful text, or giving a gift can lift your spirits and create meaningful connections.

Find moments to celebrate

Studies show that regularly expressing gratitude can boost mood and reduce anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Write about good things that happened to you recently, no matter how small, such as enjoying a cup of tea or thinking back to positive memories. This practice helps keep loneliness in perspective. There are always things to celebrate, no matter how small. 

Keep moving

Though you may be tempted to hibernate, especially when it's cold out, resist the temptation and get out amongst nature. One of our supporters, Mary, explained how she got into walking over the Christmas holidays: "I spent hours planning the best local walks, looking at maps, reading guides. It gave me something to look forward to, and I'd challenge myself to take interesting photos along the way. Getting all wrapped up and then coming home for a hot bath helped me sleep better, and being proactive and positive really helped my anxiety too." 

Create new traditions or make new connections

Consider starting new traditions that are meaningful to you. It could be something as simple as cooking a favourite meal, lighting candles, making a playlist of your favourite songs, video calling someone you know, volunteering or spending time on a personal project. These new rituals can help shift your focus away from what might be missing and instead create something positive to look forward to each year.

If you’re keen to make new connections in your community, have a look at the festive offerings in your area, and don’t be afraid to go along by yourself – take advantage of the chance to meet and chat with new people. With wreath-making or gingerbread house workshops, bread-making classes, Christmas concerts and fairs, you could pack your calendar with festive activities.

New traditions don’t have to follow the typical festive format—they can be unique to your interests and comfort. By reshaping how you celebrate, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to reclaim the festive season in a way that feels good for you.

Make a plan

If your calendar feels empty and the thought makes you anxious, try planning your days with activities that bring you joy and connection. A bit of structure can help ease feelings of loneliness. Look for things to look forward to, like a nature walk in a new place, catching up with a friend by video call, watching a favourite film, attending a festive workshop, or meeting a friend for a drink. Consider adding activities like learning a new hobby, working on a DIY project, or cooking a meal you love. You could also look for festive online events to join from home.

The key is to find things that not only distract you but also help you feel connected to yourself or others. A planned day with purpose can help you stay positive and reduce stress, making even the quieter moments feel more fulfilling. By adding things that excite you, you’ll feel more in control and uplifted, with plenty to look forward to, no matter how small.

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As always, we’d love to hear your thoughts or any advice or experiences you might have for others in the same boat. Comment below!